Funboxing: We Bake the Official Portal Cake Mix

Published 6 years ago by Andy Farrant

Piece of cake?

Thanks to some creative merchandising from Valve, the official Portal Cake Mix is a thing that exists. It's a kit that contains not nearly almost everything you need to create the chocolate cherry cake promised the player by GlaDOS in Portal. Join us in the Outside Xbox show kitchen and see how we get on baking the thing.

The minimalist Portal Cake Mix, available from all good cake mix retailers, does includes a "rewarding candle" but you will need to supply your own eggs, whipping cream, milk, butter, cherries and oven. This is possibly part of some sort of test. Nice try, Valve.

In theory, the kit produces an exact replica of the first Portal game's famous motivational gateau. So how easy is it to bake the cake of Chell's dreams? Being unskilled bakers ourselves, we donned aprons and oven gloves to find out.

Here's a hard-won tip: let the sponge cool when you take it out of the oven or the top will slide off, the filling will squirt out, the icing will melt and Mike won't eat any of it, even after we let him lick the spoon.

For more adventures in kooky Portal merchandise, watch us construct a real-life PotatOS potato battery with science.

About the author

Andy Farrant
Andy is co-editor at Outside Xbox, enjoys difficult moral decisions and fights like a cow. You might remember him from such defunct Xbox video channels as Inside Xbox.

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