6 Videogame Idiots Who Had One Job, Idiot

Published 5 years ago by Andy Farrant

Toil and trouble

When we screw up at work, the consequences for most of us are minimal. Maybe accounting doesn't get those TPS reports on time, or people on YouTube don't find out which hats are the seven best in videogames. For these characters, however, the knock-on effect of being terrible at their jobs were far-reaching; without them and their uselessness, some of our favourite videogames would never have happened.

All of the terrible events of the Resident Evil series, for example, can be traced back to two Umbrella commandos who are really bad at assassinating people. Tasked with bumping off Umbrella co-founder James Marcus, they ran straight into his lab and each emptied a full MP5 clip into the elderly man, who was standing next to a bunch of extremely volatile biohazardous research.

That lead to Marcus' transformation into a leech monster which would go on to cause the T-Virus outbreak, which lead to the total destruction of Raccoon City, and, by extension, all other Resident Evil games. All because these idiots couldn't shoot straight.

It's that same commitment to excellence which characterises the skydiving tour pilot from the start of Far Cry 3. The game begins with protagonist Jason Brody and his brother banged up in pirate jail after a skydiving trip goes wrong, causing them to land on pirate-infested Rook Island.

What the hell was their pilot doing? Why was he dropping skydivers over notorious piracy hotspots? Where did he think his customers went after they jumped out of his plane and got kidnapped? We are also going to say his job was to check they hadn't died or been captured by pirates.

Any videogame idiots in even greater need of a P45? Let us know in the comments. For more fireable offenses, consider these 7 Videogame Scientists Who Should Have Known Better.

About the author

Andy Farrant
Andy is co-editor at Outside Xbox, enjoys difficult moral decisions and fights like a cow. You might remember him from such defunct Xbox video channels as Inside Xbox.

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