8 Worst Pick-Up Lines That Did Not and Will Never Work

Published 6 months ago by Andy Farrant

Abandon 'ship

Romancing someone in a videogame is usually no more complicated than winning enough tickets on skee ball to buy a novelty comb, only instead of a novelty comb, you earn a smoochy cutscene. It's not this easy for everyone all the time, however, especially when they're busting out chat-up lines so cheesy they would embarrass James Bond. Take a listen to these cringey pick-up lines that didn't work, and probably never will.

Most of the time, Monkey Island's wannabe pirate hero Guybrush Threepwood is pretty quick witted. This is what makes his initial attempts to woo Melee Island Governor Elaine Marley so unexpected.

The loquacious Guybrush is so flustered by the Governor that, not even one sentence into their first conversation, all actual human words elude him, to be replaced by random strings of consonants, such as 'Dmnkly' and 'Blfft'.

This doesn't go down super well with the governor, who is a busy woman and doesn't have time to stand around being 'Blffted' at by a wannabe pirate. At least he didn't tell her she fought like a cow.

Previously on Outside Xbox: 8 Love Interests Who Died Before You Could Properly Smooch Them

About the author

Andy Farrant
Andy is co-editor at Outside Xbox, enjoys difficult moral decisions and fights like a cow. You might remember him from such defunct Xbox video channels as Inside Xbox.

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