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We're not averse to putting in loads of effort for a worthwhile result, but we are dead against working our socks off for an insultingly shabby reward - as in the case of these unlockable game characters who were so much more hassle than they were worth.
Game characters tend to be good at what they do, but sometimes they want to stretch themselves and step out of their comfort zone. This is presumably how we wound up with these seven bizarre and unexpected guest appearances that really put the "oh?" in cameo.
Despite us being sad about it on the internet, videogames continue to get cancelled after giving us a glimpse of what they might be like, and as we all know, the best games are the ones you never get to play. Here are seven games we'd love to play that are never going to see the light of day.
Side scrolling beat-'em-ups need to have loads of enemies in them, otherwise they would be 10 minutes long. But you can't just recolour everyone or make the player fight evil clones of themselves forever. That's how we ended up with bizarre boss designs that are surely the result of a late night, a looming deadline and way, way too many cups of coffee. Consider these, our eight favourites.
Fanservice is when a thing is designed above all else to please fans. In games it is often delivered in packages of downloadable content, so the fan-pleasing weirdness is kept at arm's length from the main game. Please enjoy these, our eight favourites.
The point of rebooting a franchise with a dark and gritty new vibe is to make it cooler, but for every Chris Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy there's a game reboot that, in the very antithesis of being cool, tried much too hard.
You don't get to be a boss in a fighting game by being nice to people. You get there by crushing everyone who dares oppose you, ideally with some kind of unblockable laser that takes off half their health. Some would call that cheap, and, after seeing these fighting game bosses in action, we 100 percent agree.
As people thrilled by both games and technology, we are susceptible to a buzzy new game gimmick that, in retrospect, was faddier than extreme planking. It's now obvious these trends couldn't last, but at the time they were hotter than the harlem shake circa 2013.
Villains come in all shapes and sizes (mostly big) but if they have one thing in common, it's their ambition to not accidentally help the good guy save the world. Yet this happens more often than these so-called bad guys would care to admit. Just think of the occasions on which these antagonists saved the day with embarrassing self-sabotage.
Guess all that sun praising finally paid off because Dark Souls Remastered is arriving this year, on release date 25 May 2018. Here's everything you need to know about the 4k-ready remaster of this classic RPG.
You know where you are with a sequel: it's like the first game but there are new weapons, new baddies and there's a number at the end of it. Except sometimes a sequel isn't like that at all. Sometimes the next game lurches into a whole other genre to produce a sequel so radically different from the original you have to squint to see the family resemblance.
The conflict at the heart of most videogames is between the game trying to kill the player, and the player trying to stop that happening. But sometimes we make things a lot easier for the game by being stupid, careless, or both stupid and careless. Double whammy. Just consider these various ways we've died in videogames where we had no one to blame but ourselves.
After the maelstrom of world news that was 2017, who could know what 2018 will bring? Videogames, that's who. For a glimpse of the year ahead, consider how games such as Terminator Salvation, Deus Ex and Iron Sky Invasion predicted what's to come in 2018.
Every so often game developers get bored of making their game and decide to develop a different, smaller game to put in the big game. These 'minigames' as us experts call them are occasionally brilliant, here are seven that are good enough to deserve their own game.
Whether due to a lack of games, a botched launch, or an unshakeable belief in the monetary potential of edutainment, plenty of games consoles have fallen by the wayside. Here are seven instances that made it pretty clear why for every hugely successful Wii, or PS2, or Nintendo DS, there are a bunch of Bandai Wonderswans. What? Exactly.
Game heroes are typically the picture of health, all muscle tone and good teeth. So it's all the more tragic when they canonically endure debilitating disease, smashed bones and severed limbs in the name of doing their heroic business. Just ponder these times being the hero was seriously bad for your health.
I wouldn't say we're completely hard-hearted cynics here, but the last time I had a real human feeling was when I stood on a Lego in bare feet, and I barely felt that. So imagine our surprise when we encountered these hidden secrets in videogames and found that the stories behind them were so sweet and so heartfelt, we may have even said "awww".
A short while back we pondered the allegedly 'non-lethal' options in games that were in fact as non-lethal as a skinny dip in a shark tank. Everyone in the comments of that video went on to add their own fabulously lethal non-lethal takedowns, so let's see what they had to share in the category of dubiously conscience-sparing, supposedly lighter alternatives to murder, or as we like to call them, I Can't Believe It's Not Murder.
Having our butts handed to us at the start of a game is so commonplace it's practically tradition, which is why there's nothing more gleefully empowering than much later on meeting the same baddie that humiliated you early in the game, and wiping the floor with them. Time now for a jog down memory lane, reminiscing about the times we totally showed that jerk from the opening act.
It's easy to take for granted simple skills such as holding items in a particular hand and drinking things. So spare a thought for these game characters who must unlock some ludicrously basic skills to get by in life. Consider these skills we can't believe we had to unlock.
New droids! Emperor Palpatine's final orders! The interior design of the Mos Eisley Cantina! Consider these and the other tidbits about Star Wars we learned from Battlefront 2, in more new Battlefront 2 single-player and multiplayer gameplay than you can menacingly twirl a double-bladed lightsaber at.
Normally games task us with something important or other that we're supposed to be doing, whether that's saving the world, scratching out a meagre existence in the post-apocalyptic wasteland or building a crime empire that Pablo Escobar would nod approvingly at. Were he not dead. Somehow or other we always get sidetracked by pointless but weirdly compelling activities that do nothing to push us toward our primary objective.
Sponsored Content: We're going to be pretty busy this November with the Xbox One X, and not just on account of how we must brave the tangled cables behind the TV to hook it up. We'll be busy playing new games optimised for Xbox One X, as well as games that are already out that will benefit from Xbox One X updates. Take a look at our Xbox One X to do list in this video.
William 'BJ' Blazcowicz begins Wolfenstein 2 a bit worse for wear, having gotten a bit blown up at the end of the last game. But our man Blazcowicz isn't about to let a little thing like that keep him from liberating America and be home in time for milkshakes. To that end, it's lucky that technology is on BJ's side; he's kitted out with more kooky high-tech equipment than ever and we fancy some of it for ourselves.
Some videogames offer non-lethal alternative methods to take out your foes. Just don't look too closely at these supposedly murder-free options, because it soon becomes apparent a lot are at least as deadly as the lethal method you've been trying to avoid. Here are the times we took the non-lethal option with probably fatal consequences.
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